Since I’ve left the matrix and retaken the red pill, I’ve seem to have become disillusioned with a lot and almost have become nihilistic. I sincerely want to believe that there is good in everyone, there might be but a lot of people don’t show it. I want to believe the world is truly good but there has been more than enough evidence to see that it’s not. I have become disillusioned about relationships. Will there ever be a time that I actually find someone that I can love, and love back? Yes, I understand that love is conditional and women can be replaced but it feels like everything I have been told since I unplugged again is a lie, that society is full of shit. I’m actually one of the few that wants to have a family one day so my genes can pass on which goes against the “fuck marriage” attitude I’ve read lately. Now, I won’t go anarchist or anything but how can people lie like that.
So that means if the media and society portrays things in a false light, then my major was based on learning to be a good liar too.
I guess that’s how the world is, you take the red pill while selling the world the blue pill. If that’s how the world has to be then fine, I’ll accept it. I’m glad I’m on the right side then. I’ve also become disillusioned with the economy and education as well. I was told that you go to college to get a degree and when you finish, you’ll have a job lined up for you. That’s not the case. The economy is so bad that even men and women who have their post-graduate degrees are working minimum wage ass jobs, it’s not bad enough that they spent close to 100Gs on a piece of paper for accreditation, confirmation, validation or a so-called education, now it’s nothing more than saying you went into debt to barely make it out alive.
I’m still glad that I finished college with at least my bachelor’s degree, which means I’m doing better than a lot of my peers. Now I’m also starting to see why more of us black men don’t give too much of a damn about education anymore (somehow I still believe that the numbers I see will change for the better, it’s just hope.)
This isn’t a suicidal type of post, just some real shit I’ve been thinking about for a minute. I’m sittin here just bitchin about it, I have plans I’ve put into action but I’m just dealing with the reality of the moment.